“Sadness gives depth, happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots, happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That's its balance.”
- Osho - 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now
As we grow older in life, we equip ourselves with ways to deal with situations that life can throw in our way. However, often we forget to keep ourselves ready for the most inevitable thing anyone can go through, at any point of time - ‘sadness’.
We often let things get to us without understanding the way through those situations. Sadness is a process of life, it’s as natural and important as happiness is. It is actually one of the four human emotions. Happiness, fear and anger are as valid feelings as sadness is. You can take it as your psychological alert towards understanding when you aren’t in a place that uplifts you.
Here are ten tried and tested things that would answer your question about - how to brighten your mood?
Understand that sadness might hurt but it is an important healthy feeling. We live in a time which is obsessed with an Instagram worthy life, where everything is sunny and ‘positive’. Our society sells us positivity, this results in neglecting a valid emotion in our system that helps in the working of our emotional system. The first thing you can do is to embrace it head on without trying to conceal it.
“So don't be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening to you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don't know what work they are accomplishing within you?”
- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
After you have embraced your emotion of feeling low, allow yourself to be sad. You need to realise that you don’t have to be chirpy and happy all the time. Allow yourself the privilege of being sad. This will open the doors of exploring the cause of such a feeling - navigate within yourself and find what is it that’s bothering you.
“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.”
- Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny
Once you understand what’s making you sad, it’s time to take action and do whatever needs to be done to discard what’s bothering you. It’s very important to understand what you can and cannot do to make your situation better. Having a game plan to deal with your situation is not just healing but empowering at the very instant.
“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.”
In order to rid yourself of feeling low, we end up trying too hard or being harsh on ourselves. Sometimes, all you require is to sit back and relax. Have a clear view of all that’s going great for you. At this point, look at the things that you have, focus on how far you have come in your life. Recognize your achievements, you are no less than a miracle.
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”
- Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Let yourself have a good cry. By allowing yourself to feel the pain you will heal much faster. Crying is a great catalyst of washing away feelings of sadness. Crying scientifically has been proven to reduce stress levels while uplifting your mood. It also rids your body of stress hormones.
“Don't be ashamed to weep; 'tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
- Brian Jacques, Taggerung
Treating yourself at the time you are feeling low could do wonders. Your mind deserves kindness from you as much your loved ones do. So buy yourself something that you always needed or go out on a date with yourself. Realise that sadness, at times, comes from a place where you have been neglecting yourself for long. So take this as a warning from your body to you and spend some time with your own self, doing what makes you happy.
“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you to another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but 'steal' some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.”
- Albert Camus, Notebooks 1951-1959
A problem halved is a problem solved. Opening up to someone is the best way to not only understand your own emotions but can help you feel better. It’s therapeutic to talk to someone when feeling low. It also gives you a chance to hear someone else’s perspective and advice. This can help you build effective communication along with keeping away the feeling of being alone or isolated.
Disconnect yourself with the obsessiveness of being on the social media platform all the time. Disconnecting from social media can help you bring out positive changes in your life. This could have a change in your sleeping patterns, helping you to sleep better. You will, in turn, also be less stressed and more productive.
Switching off can help you to overcome feelings of sadness and anxiety by replacing these with contentment, happiness and fulfilment.
The absolute tested way to pick yourself up when you’re going through a tough day is to get out of your bed and go out. Just leave your dark room and embrace the beauty of this world. Go out and do anything that you want. For example, go outside and take a walk or go grocery shopping. GET UP AND GET MOVING.
Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
In today’s world, where everyone’s ultimate goal is to seek happiness, we have become a society that believes we can truly be happy by acquiring material possessions. We believe in working hard in order to satisfy our desires, ambitions and passions. We believe in achieving greatness as a path to happiness and joy. In all of this, we forget that while we are running towards things outside, the true source of happiness lies within.
Ester asked why people are sad.
"That’s simple," says the old man. "They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.”
- Paulo Coelho, The Zahir
It’s a simple talisman that you need to follow. “Seek happiness within yourself”. Everything you ever need is already there, try to change within.
What do you do when you feel low? Share your tips in the comments below to help others know.