Here’s a question that was asked to me on Quora on infidelity.
My response:
I have been through a very loving relationship where I suddenly discovered he was cheating on me. I was shell shocked , just as you are. As heart-broken and dejected as you are , no consolation seemed enough for me. Right from self doubt to disbelief in almost everything, kicked in.
But then, I stood my ground and left . I couldn't take a cheating partner.
Yes, separating ways wasn't easy either. I cried over and missed everything. It took me years and many different situation to see through them. Drawing swords on me took many realities to stop. Yes, right from nit-picking on every thing that I do, to the way I look and almost everything about me, wouldn’t stop. It required me to live through a lot of different situations, before I could reclaim my self-efficacy and appreciate me. Comparing myself to others would only to push me into the downward spiral. Hence called for a strict discipline to stop it. Cleaning up mental chatter wasn’t easy either!
The good part was, the loneliness pushed me to find myself and not give up. I actually found, I am great fun to live with :)
As hard as it sounds, I kept pushing all my boundaries till I realised how strong we all are, if only we can dare.
Now close to a decade later, I am grateful I moved away and found the life that I cherish. This is not narcism but assertiveness ! If only we can remember we are all equally vulnerable in love, no matter what ever happens, it will keep our hearts open!
Wish you all the best!