Life has ways of pulling us down to our lowest degrees. In those moments of pain and hurt, the only thing that can help is having faith in our capacity as individuals. Here is a list of advice you wish to hear on days like these:
For the days that you get rejected or when you lose hope in things ever going your way:
For those days when your loved ones hurt you:
“At the end, we need to just learn how to rationally forgive. The people we choose to keep close to us are going to eventually get angry at us, shout at us, get difficult to deal with, sometimes be really really hurtful in their means and ways. However, with the passage of time I’ve learned to accept people as just simply human - with their anger and hurt and unreasonableness.
They are going through an entirely different life than you are. Just because we choose to hold them close and dear to us, doesn’t mean that they stand high on pedestals where all that they shower upon us is love and care. Being a part of some person's world also means letting in the darkness. So free the bonds you make with people of high expectations, of Godlike love and care. Humanise the expectations, let them hurt you, heal you and nurture you.”
- Faakirah
For the days when you feel helpless and alone. Remember that it’s okay to fall down and cry for help. It’s important at times to know the pain and have courage to hold a helping hand:
For days when our anger takes the best of us:
When we get angry, we suffer. If you really understand that, you also will be able to understand that when the other person is angry, it means that he/she is suffering. When someone insults you or behaves violently towards you, you have to be intelligent enough to see that the person suffers from his own violence and anger. But we tend to forget. We think that we are the only one that suffers, and the other person is our oppressor. This is enough to make anger arise, and to strengthen our desire to punish. We want to punish the other person because we suffer.
Then, we have anger in us; we have violence in us, just as they do. When we see that our suffering and anger are no different from their suffering and anger, we will behave more compassionately. So understanding the other is understanding yourself, and understanding yourself is understanding the other person. Everything must begin with you.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
For those days when you feel that the whole world is out there to get you:
You have to learn to say no without feeling guilty.
“Challenge and question yourself, your circumstances and the world. It is so easy to fall into complacency and acceptance. We lead busy lives, sometimes we are so busy doing that we forget to ask ourselves the important questions: How are we? Are we happy with what we are doing, with how we are doing it? Does it make sense? Can our situation improve? Can we do something to improve it? What does the world need from us? How can we make a difference? How can we set a better example? Don't be afraid to ask questions, to challenge what is. You may never find new answers or solutions if you don't ask the right questions. Questions lead to creativity and innovation. The lead us to expand out beyond our comfort zone. Don't be afraid to challenge yourself to a better life, to a better you.”
― Akiroq Brost
For those days when you are in your bed all day waiting for some magic to take you out of the difficult situations, know that the magic is you:
Here are a few more tips to go ahead with owning up your life on your own terms:
Your idea of a good life is yours and no one else's. What you want to do with this life of your’s shouldn’t be ever based of on anyone else’s opinion. Own up to your game plan. Sometimes you’ll need to choose your battles. It’s perfectly okay for you to walk away from a difficult situation, it takes a lot of courage to suck it up and move on.
Being there for yourself takes effort. It’s not always bubble baths and scented perfumes. Sometimes it’s really hard. Sometimes it means doing things you wouldn’t but should. It’s gone. The past. Simply put, it’s not going to come back. You can’t build a future there, however, you can take your lessons and draft a plan to take your journey forward.
Don’t let anyone ever feel the need to invalidate your problems. Your problems could be big or small. They are yours, the fact that you are trying to work out of them doesn’t need validation.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to take them back after all they did. It simply means you let go of them and the anger you had built inside. Relieve your soul of negative energies, and flourish.
Sometimes the pain you go through is necessary to be endured and lived through. The way to the river of life is through the forest of things that are meant to make us ready to swim the abyss of the deepest levels of paradise.
I’m not glorifying our struggles as they glorify our very mortal being. It’s important to be in love with every bit of your life while it’s crumbling into pieces.
A gentle reminder, I don’t know what mountains you are trying to pass and what storms are turning your life around, you have all the strength you need, you are all the armour you require. Find yourself through these tribulations and in the end, you’ll find your beloved inside of you, raging it’s forgiveness and mercy upon you.”